The Life And Times Of The Ragged Dagger
by Rach-Chan
Summary: Parody of my D&D group, the Ragged Dagger. I'm basically poking fun at all our of our character's quirks, and our DM's twisted sense of humor. First D&D fic, so go easy.


**_Disclaimer: _**Yeah, this is going to be my first time ever in the history of my writing where I attempt a D and D story, maybe the only time. The characters, who you'll just have to wait and see them and their 'unique' personalities, are actually characters from the campaign I'm currently in. I don't own D and D! This is basically a fic kind of making fun of my group, where I'll bring out the quirks and exaggerate them horribly. (Including my own)

It had been the biggest, most bloody, most violent battle the Ragged Dagger had ever been involved in. Three dragons, a Baylor, and right at the end, a damned Displacer Beast. They all had limped back to Selgea, where they had been treated as heros, and given the best of everything. And now that they were at what most of them called home, they were living it up. Well, mostly everyone, anyway. The exception was Ariella, who sat at the bar, watching her comrades get drunk and act like idiots. She snorted as she watched Jackal, the disgusting, little minded half orc that was the bane of her exsistance, get up and dance rather drunkenly to one of those jig things he was so fond of.

She looked back over to another table, where Laucian sat with Silvas, thinking up more tactics and discussing the most random and questionable things imaginable. Then to the other, were Z sat with Alexia, trying to get her drunk enough to get a repeat performance of their jail break, where Alexia was forced to strip so guards could watch while the others sneaked out. All of this rather angered the young half Elf Paladin. Watching her friends commit such...sins! Didn't they listen to her when she told them that such things could get them damned! She glared, banging her mug down on the bar, and standing up. "DON'T YOU ALL GET IT! EVERYTHING YOUR DOING IS GOING TO GET YOU SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL!"

Everyone in the Ragged Dagger sighed, used to the Paladin's speeches of being damned and the like. Calypso stood from his spot down the bar, and walked over to her. "Ari, we need to have a little talk..." The thief mumbled as he pulled the still ranting Paladin from the bar.

Laucian blinked, raising his head from the table where he and Silvas sat. "Well, atleast she wasn't yelling to me about not tithing, and being a dirty, degenerate sinner.." Silvas nodded. "But she's damn good looking...only draw back is the whole 'I'm a Paladin, sex before marriage is wrong' thing she's got going on..." The other Elf nodded, looking back down at the plans. "So..if event of a fire while fighting a Chimera, we duck and cover, correct?"

Z sighed, as he watched Calypso drag Ariella outside to calm down. "Stay here, Alexia...I'll be back..." The cleric blinked, her blue eyes slightly unfocused. "Okay..." She giggled, hiccuping as an Ogre winked at her from across the room. The Dwarf raised an eyebrow, but left her there. 'If anything, Laucian and Silvas are still in here with her...'

"So you see...You can't just be ranting in public like that! If that bar would have found out you're a Paladin for Pelor, half of them would of been attacking you!" Calypso said, shaking the Paladin's shoulders for emphasis. She shrugged. "So? If they attack me, they're going straight to hell, and their already damned anyway, and it'd be good practice for battle with my sword..." She smiled, stroking the hilt of the Orc's Bane, her prized sword. The thief sighed. "There's no talking you out of preaching, is there!" He half yelled. He felt a big hand land of his shoulder, and heard a deep chuckle. "Its her job, Calypso. And also a hard habit to break." Z said good naturedly, smiling at the two of them. "But seriously Ariella, not in public. Your going to get us all attacked one of these days." Ariella glared, but nodded. "Fine...but your all damned at this point in time..." She walked back in, Calypso and Z shaking their heads as they saw her take a bottle of wine from a beggar near the side entrance, mumbling 'Poor degenerate soul' as she threw the bottle to the ground, letting it shatter to a million pieces.

Yes, I know its short, and probably not the best written, but this is just the first chapter. I promise that it'll get better along the line!


End file.
